Too Much Free Time

A problem occurs oft times when you happen to stick gingerbread in front of an engineer and say "Build." He may argue. He may try to dissuade you. Yet you, being the one you are, will inevitably not listen. So 16 hours later when he is still at the table in his attempt to obey and thus "Build," just remember, this is the nature of the beast. You brought this on yourself.

Déjà Vu? Please No.

So as the southwesterners, southeasterners, certain minnesotans and scores of other untold panzies morn the going of the sun to it's nether regions, it is duely noted how well the earth retains its overall temperature in these times. A closer look at a map of oceanic current temperatures gives insight as to why we are not as yet frozen over in blessed goodness. Signs of global warming you say? Well, fancy pants, those signs have been coming now for the last 13,000 years. Has this anything to do with procession, you then ask. Doubtful. However, there does seem to be certain correlation between the sun's Maunder cycle and the jive down here. You know what? I think I'm done.

But if you please, not this time. Nice, ...but enough. Still... on such a day nothing really can be wrong.

Pure unadulterated deliciousness.

When It Can't All Be Done

There's this time of day when everything that usually stands of the bright side of things turns coat and runs for mayor of an adjoining town. An actual problem? Oh I supposen't. But even said thems bes the things that bring out of hilts and holsters. Which may I just mention, in case you were too busy to notice, both start with the letter H. Handy. ...and now I see.
...and now I'm empty.

To quote a friend is to do a service to the world. Listening is a form of intrusion, seclusion, delusion and, if not metered with more than the ear, confusion. The minister's cat is not a cat.

Bring the meat we pray thee good sir. Pray on. Fro cameth the whence and to so greaveth the shant. Come not to the table with unwashen arms in haste to make thy way great of fat and labored coin. Nay, wait upon the hour that brings. For bring it shall. Though brought's it not. And so has the day been. Retortion and subjugation. Undenial and forthwithal. Yellow, put off thine self and squaller not the peace or the freed.

I've waited for days for this to come. I think the time is here. No one is home. No one raises a hand. But there, stands the eye that never blinks or turns from his watch. The light is his. The shadow is his making. Though ever present, still the time he rounds to his own. Whether up or down, his might is made known.

Stay out of the river. Stay back from the bank.
Your feet will oft fail you n'er 'larming you've sank.
There in the great deep, though only to toes,
the Wind reacheth not as there not it blows.
Calm, cool and collected so still and reposed.
But far now away from where safety enclosed.
Off now for to wander and wonder of things
All drifting too far from the rivers and streams.
Untethered, unleashed, unguided, unfed.
Full up of no substance, pushed onward, not lead.
Without a foundation, an anchor or home,
pervaded by eddy's and currents and foam.
Distracted by motion and faux muffled peace,
Clear dilutes to murk where bearings all cease.
And once there a-ground in ground none can heft,
All joy disappears and nothing is left.
And there you'll remember where entered decay,
But you'd never admit till it came in full sway.
Sure, keep to your pride if you like or the bank,
but recall if you'd stayed you had never'a sank.

Sleep well. When you do sleep. If you are want to do so.
Do so.

Covert Ops.

So. You see that guy there behind the bush on the left? He's been there for an hour or so. Waiting. Strange no one else has seen him. Let's flank him.

No. No... That one. Yeah. Wait... Where'd he go?

...and we're dead.

Land's Ocean

Create me a burning. Not of tree, man or land. Not of the mind, willing ill. Not of derailment or disreguard. Not of desire, seeking only own. Of purity. Of clarity. Of devotion. Of please. Let my sought have been never vain. Vainity bringing conformity. Let my soul be swift, exceeding my clay. Doing yet burning, more.

Tests on the Structural Integrity of Gourd Squash

Li'l James - Crack Propagation Test*

(22 longitudinally introduced fractures; test run 10/05)
Revealed only days before the little friend's come-up-ins.

Mirv - Compressive Shear/Abrasion Resistance Test*

(thinned shell by grinding, applied non-structural stress , large hemispherical shear dislocation; test run 10/06)
If sideburns really made life this interesting...

Fleming - Creep/Corrosion Test*

(full basal removal, minimal removal of bio-corrosive defects; test run 10/07)
Failing can do a many things to the mind. In many ways.

Jeberakiah - Impact Fracture Test*

(frontal high impulse stresses introduced by impact hammer; test run 10/07)

When your best leaves you nothing but tired and well... tired.

Edmond - Corrosion Resistance/Structural Stress/Thermal Fatigue Test*

( introduction of point dislocations, a prominent lateral fracture, bio-corrosive elements, thermal stresses; test run 10/08)
Every once in a while things still don't go like you asked them to.

*all specimens were first hardness tested

Peace? ...You and I Aren't Ready For That.

You really want to know what's on my mind at this time? Think no more of a happening than that it continues on but never seems to come out to what ought to be said.
Ok lets try this again


Tired and tried.
Hot and dyed.
I went to push the door again
To bring it closed as it was then
Joints. Bolts.
Electron volts.
But waiting at the bottom of the stack
Just waiting to be popped.
Cranberry sauce.
Bottled up moss.
The unvented and the uneventful.
Inevitably pursues the days.
Pattered and pumped.
Summarily lumped.
Please give me keys and strings
To pull aloft the unwritten.
Guy wires holding.
Plots unfolding.
Oh the day when all was new
Still bright unsullied in the view.
Carts of planks.
Many thanks.
You out there in the green
Look and throw back just to see.
Boars with birds.
Flower of nerds.
Wait the day out, long it drives
Exacting, vengeance in its eyes.
Leafy rain.
Lumbar pain.
Hearts, stars, horseshoes, clover and blue moons
Pots of gold, and rainbows, and the red balloons.
He's coming.
Get running.

You're Not the Devil... You're Practice

Take a good look. It may be your last. I make this the time. Make might your own. It inspires. Cement shoes. Small rocks. A bag of peanuts. Really huge potatoes. A ruck. Some muck. And a swath of red. Even breathing isn't necessity. Jacks of beans. Gladly I'll stare your tree down. ΔE? Oh look at the time. Really.
Iron Man.

What the Weeds?

The wonder is that no one has realized that the clouds are out but the sun has been shining the whole time. I think it lends itself to show that when we go forward with our eyes on the goal we often miss that the goal is not all that is around. Take bowling for example. Sure you can get a strike every time. But what about the lights? Or the crazy disco music? Or the the nappy shoes to say nothing of the seats that only swing the wrong way. Ok... so you get the goal. But do you miss the point? Are you losing in getting what you wanted? Or are you just putting off the fact that the more you distract yourself the better you feel? So a couple of days ago I was biking around town when my tire blew out. That was cool. Have you ever had that happen to you? ...No; have you ever dreamed that that might happen to you? And as you are answering no, I ask yourself why that might be? Don't tell me it's convenience or time or pride or fortitude. I don't believe it. It goes back to that dang sun behind those smashing clouds. Diffuse lighting my friends. Diffuse lighting.

Elimination

You ever done something stupid? You ever wondered if you could do it again? You ever thought that maybe there's room in your head for one more? You ever been reminded that some lines shouldn't be crossed? You ever wondered where a line was? You ever watched as something quite quantifiable became something subjective? You ever wondered why mortality is inevitable in all things? You ever reasoned with yourself that if again you sat down a second the next mightn't come? You ever retaliated to kindness? You ever abandoned the wanton? You ever brought in the fish? You ever noticed a cat and found that it was on the other side of the road? You ever hunkered down when the sun came? You ever made a snowman in shorts? You ever burned down more than a house? You ever seen it coming? You ever then actually dodged it? You ever just taken it? ...Lights out eh?

The Realm of Possibilities

And now is time that has been set apart from before the foundations to come forward and tell everyone something they didn't know. Could it be that I have one hundred dollars in my pocket in denominations of fives, twenties, ones and a two? Maybe you'll think that its that I happen to be the second northeasterner to ever swallow a half baked banana while smoking a fish. The list could continue you know. It happens to be what I'm doing on Friday night. The possibilities are almost endless. Almost. There are a few things I wouldn't be doing on Friday. Fishing for beavers? Not likely. But the fact happens to be that I happen to be studying that night. That's it? Yep. So you might have guessed it, but just ask yourself... did you really know that?

Oh the Botulism!

Debauchery. Treachery. Defamity. Confederacy. Gratuitition. Wanton disregard. Malcontent. Illrepose. Flagrant unsobriety. Tenacious corruption. Arrant recreancy. Defection. Malignant intent. Insidious grift. Wholesale duplicity. Perfidiousness. With friends like these...

Unoriginality in Droves

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What's Yours?

So the start of it came when this guy asked me what and of who's concern was it that I go to and find out when I'm going to be about and finding mine. Well I says soon. Like now. Actually mine's been found and if I keep looking word has it that that too will be lost. So in conjunction of such thoughts comes to forsight the non-claristic nature of the divinings and the sootheries of today. Fro they say! And to what point? Agast and driven is all that becomes. Like a fish out of water or some other rather blufferied globbottenry. Shant to the left and leave the rows of hedgerows in the column in which they choose to stand, for moving them is a kin to a bear on the water which when it treads does so with ever increasing quickness that to the unlearned and unbewondered eye there comes not a fly nor a whip to the sight. And such is not caught but is thrown to the wind. Wherever that may come or go. But to no loss, for such comes only as I please. And I please not. Not today.

What's My Motivation?

Now there are days, and there are nights. But the times in between?... Those are what dreams are made out of. The question is what color was your last? Think about it for a second, turn
π/2 radians for each letter in your answer, step forward three spaces in that direction, if impeded by some foreign object, deport it. If undeportable, think of the first name of the first chicken you ate and while thinking, strafe in the direction known to you as left. If you are apprehended again before recollection sets in, pause, look up, and grab the nearest grabbable in the vicinity. Just hold on to that for a second. Now as for those who were not so unfortunate as to be hindered in their forward progress, call out the name of what you were last injuncted to think of and while doing so bow. Use your legs to keep the back from strain. If assistance is needed, grab the nearest low lying object. Curl your body around toward it. Keep holding.

If You Aren't Bleeding...

Psychoanalysts say it's gluttony for pain. Biologists think of deleterious point mutations. Chemists think some enzymes aren't binding. Material scientists can't understand why more things aren't fractured. Electrical engineers know a wire is crossed somewhere. The Mechanical Engineers say there are loose screws. Choreographers say there's no grace. And the English majors think it's lack of culture. They always go for that one.

Exfoliants in the eyes. Silicas in the nose. Abrasives covering the skin. Dust in the lungs. Maybe in the occasional Q-tip in your face. ...ok, that one was inexcusable. Is nothing sacred?!... But to become one with Terra-Somewhat-Firma? That my friends is pure joy. Eat it. Drink it. Don it. Sleep it. And bless the Faithful Departed who made it possible once again.

State of Empondermentationalism

What would happen if you could never manage to stand on the right side of a picture?

When the water comes in from the sea and washes up to your feet you think it's nice... would it be if the sea was made of mercury? Nice?... ...how about bromine?

What if you could stand to walk at the speed of 2.3 E -34 m/s... would people have a hard time trying to find your exact position?

Everyone loves three day weekends so why don't we make the week 8 days long instead of 7?

In space they run a 26 hour day, why don't we make life more interesting and do that here on earth?

How does one get off this thing?

If it hurts to look at someone does that mean you like them?

Don't your eyes hurt when you look at the sun?

Why when we are asked which drops faster in a vacuum, a feather or a bowling ball, and we answer a bowling ball, are we told we are wrong when in fact we are right?

Why do we not use the write-in line on the ballot?

Does anybody else want to get in the car so fast that they often close the door on their leg?

Is it really wrong to keep walking and not even turn around?

Why don't Santa's reindeer burrow instead of fly?

Why won't my arms move?

Do you ever find yourself walking, thinking someone is following you only to turn around and see me there?

Is stalking really that bad?

If escape velocity is the velocity reached by an object when dropped to another from infinity and we know that not even something traveling at the speed of light can escape a black hole, why does that not also mean that something entering a black hole is exceeding the speed of light?

If an oscillating crystal can at the same time have a finite and infinite wavelength along the same vector, why can we not also claim that it has no wavelength?

But if Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares.... why does he keep doing it?

Just how does one get to?

...Swimmingly.

It is common knowledge that any fool likes the rain... it's just that some fools haven't properly graduated through a good aging process.
...like natural selection.

It is a given that one can find his own enjoyment in life. The problem is that other people might see him as such. The world is peopled of fools. Let the world beware.

Clarion Call to the Master of Spain

The years were dark, the lines were long
We tried to fight but that went wrong
We tried the doors and all the locks
We'd break the glass with bags of rocks
If but we could get us outside
To grab some rocks to save our hide

Through hours long and months of mull
Our will to leave was turned to wool
We couldn't dance or sing about
We couldn't dream, for we'd run out,
Of dreams that is, all wasted on
Attempts to git, and git long gone
So on we'd dream of nicer days
When panes blocked not the UV rays
Why can't I run or hide from sight
Why can't the fan blades lift my kite?
Why can't the walls let starlight through?
Why can't we keep our dreams in view?
Cause every time we try to dream
A ripple comes across the seam
Where sheets of rock are plastered sound
To keep in lies, to keep us bound
And washes out the thoughts come in
And tides across our taste of sin
"For what you seek's not right" walls boom
As amens echo through the rooms
We know it too, the way's unseen
And what is hid can't well be clean
And so our glance returns again
To what it ever would have been
Not bright or drunk, not wild and scared
Not gleed or stout, not ill prepared
Not anxious, pond'rous, nor composed
Not jubilant or juxtaposed
By friend or foe nor love or lie
No will to live nor yet to die
And on we'd shrink...

If not per course of the course laid
Which had its path across ours played
For up out of the cracks some day
There'd come a chance to get away
The way is dark and China bound
Yet it's far better in the ground
The earth's not stale nor eats the soul
As Nothing does if in control
And though the way's now darker still
At least I feel and have a will
A will to do whate're I like
To stand on desks or throw a pike
To burn a town, to save a fox
To give another bags of rocks
Though tough in what I'm crawling through
Still all's what I decide to do.

Retardant for Bombs in the Mail

So it seems of late that the where-abouts and why-to-for's of an certain someone have been much discussed over dinners, which ought to have thus been rendered superfluously tasty, as well as carnivals and candied yams which on inspection seals the fate of those who in their causality have degradated the only hope of re-supply to the said person who under no distress of his own has sought for the auspices of those who sought his ...and in so doing has found himself the master of his own universe, small as it may be, which however small is still his own , minus the fact that it is in desperate need of previsions in seasons needy and often dire yet not allayed, as things go inside a hole, but to so allay worry over or distress toward said subjects it is in the mind of the editor in joint to console and thus reconstitute the inconstituents of the foregoing considerations and to command their attentions to the stop signs ahead of their own path that perhaps and so by chance they may not in their cross travels over-traverse and thus extinguish the unsuspecting passer-by except in conditions where such happenings have chance to create and build up as in a non-elastic collision and both parties ever after go forward in one heart and one mind as these are the sincere and unadulterated desires of the afore-mentioned, who by the way has a home. In truth. I enjoy this hole.

Foreshadowment

...because I can.

Hide Your Daughters

In a time when evil raged on earth... A time when coke machines refused to give succor to the needy. A time when the hearts of men failed them. A time when glassware was in overabundance but resources where scarce. A time when those in high positions looked down and did nothing. A time of misunderstanding. A time of slander. A time of fear.

...there were those who sought to fight that evil.

Supply lines were egregiously slow. Communication lines were in disarray. Armed with nothing but the manufacture of their own hands they took to the hills...

...and conquered.

Proof of a Death March

I'm not sure if this is common knowledge but Provo was to be the last stand of the iniquitous at the last days. At least that's what the Provo Canyon Prophet told me. So a friend and myself decided to heed false prophecy and get us out. We were smitten and greatly afflicted as we lightly esteemed the call to leave early. The heat of the sun and the wickedness of the city beat upon us. This picture taken by our unsuspecting camera man shows in terrible clarity the extreme heat of the sun combining with that coming from the epicenter of unrighteousness. Alas as he turned to take the picture he was turned to a pillar of salt. (This picture was taken at 1/3000 s. shutter speed believe it or not)
As our journey continued without helicopter or camera crew we felt to look at Bear as rather a wuss. We decided to take the journey due south up and around ...considering the rocky terrain. ...Have you ever had that feeling? That feeling of walking and pushing and giving something your all only to almost collapse under the weight when of a sudden you are lifted up and weightlessness carries your limp and fatigued body to the top? ...cause it sure didn't happen here. In fact as I was in the act of such musings is was stricken down for my unheeding ways. It was however but a warning shot. Much to my rejoicing I was provided a bush to keep me from rolling off the mountain. I suppose most of you won't believe what a state we were in when the top finally came underneath our frames unless you know the size of our fire. A greater man would have been ashamed of it. But I probably would have pushed him down the mountain for admitting that too.
Certain that the end was still immanent... here we are bracing ourselves for impact of the sun upon the distant horizon. We figured the safest place to be in the event of a collision with the sun would be on top of a mountain. I mean it is solid rock after all.

Well.... nothing happened again so decided that the destruction must come by mist of darkness or the angel of death or something. I was sure I saw it just like Cecil had portrayed. There must be smog in CA I guess. Then we figured that maybe such things need to have the target painted by laser first. So we did our part. Again nothing. But a few comments by way of observation. As can be seen, not only can we pick out the Orem border by their Holier-Than-Thou-White street lights but we can also note that guided missile attacks from atop Y mountain can hit West Jordan. So we waited out the night. But you know what? The sun came again. Like It always tends to do this time of year. At about 6:28. Just in time to save me from losing a bet. The second I'd won that dygn. Right as the sun peaked its ugly head we jumped down the hillside before we were spotted. Luckily it couldn't keep a lock on us as we dismounted.

So it turns out our informant was off his rocker. Lessons learned? I'm not sure I can comment on that just at this time. I only wonder what the unsuspectings thought of the green stop signs.

Systems of Equations

To burn is to live and to live?... the life. Ah. But indeed as you think it be the right of the righteous and the deeds of the undercut to contrive and to survive the plagues and the crop failures of our day... introspect. Pontificate. More is to be had on this small pond called life. Keep it up John and we'll be right back where we were. Not your concern? Moses says no. You gotta love the pain. And speaking of it... I've not been under the driving for a while. Yesterday was no exception. So while it comes in clear we ... well I ..stop to think that really it has to do with frequency really. Interesting. Redundant. Interesting what we notice when tapped in to the right tree. Pine please. ...and so what if it were. The point has been made. This is my land. Only mine. So when you want to take it choose wisely. Sometimes speed is not what you suppose or apply for though it may be what you get. In the end... you'll find that finesse is what finds the cup. Not power. Not money. And yes. France? ...bombs away.

So however you want it... know that you'll get it. And not so differently. Oh maybe the color and the S/N will have changed but know that it's still the same. A lego's a lego's a lego.
Almost.
Types? Nothing comes to mind. dry as a bone. but I do like the tie.

Erin is to Be Respected and Feared

Four Jobs I Wish I'd Have Had By Now:
1. Radio Tower Light Bulb Replacer
2. Forest Fire Fighter (Controlled Burn Ignition Team)
3. Parachute Packer
4. Janitorial Engineer

Four Movies I Would Like to Have Been a Stunt Double In:
1. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
2. The Princess Bride
3. Driving Miss Daisy
4. Batman Begins

Four Places I Would Not Live If You Payed Me:
1. Paris, France
2. Disneyland
3. Under Mr. Krugar's Christmas Tree
4. In a Fish Hatchery

Four TV Shows I Think They Should Crossover:
1. Jeopardy meets American Gladiator
2. Iron Chef meets Crocodile Hunter
3. Dawson's Creek meets Shootout
4. Top Gear meets Batman

Four Places I've been:
1. Andy Bob's Apartment
2. Burger King
3. A Viking Burial Ground
4. BYU Police Records

Four Books I Could Read Over and Over:
1. One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish
2. Counting For Dummies: 1 to 4 (the 2 and 3 method)
3. Why you can't yell with your mouth closed.
4. Too Much Popcorn

Four of My Favorite Combustibles:
1. Gasoline
2. Pine
3. Witches
4. Corn Starch

Four Places I'd Like to Own:
1. England
2. Nina's
3. Olympus Mons
4. Harold's Place

Four Things I'm Looking Forward to This Year:
1. Labor Day
2. Snow
3. Eating Lunch
4. A Trip to Visit the Faithful Departed

Four People I'd Rather Not Talk to Right Now:
1. Dan Rather
2. Irvin Johnson
3. Hillary the Chief
4. Pol Pot

The Prolitariate Has Spoken

After much deliberation on things not quite understood by those not knowing the ways and the means of the powers that be, it has come to the attention of those awaiting recourse that however strong and mighty mint may be in the mouth, the masses do in most large portion appear to be cognisant of the fact that we must return to the basic pre-contained knowledge of man to explore the deeper quandaries of the soul. Fire mixeth well to cleanse the inner vessel. See for yourself.

On the Meter

The 23rd. Another Monday. The second of what will be a very long string of Mondays. Kids cryin' in the back. Old men diein' in the front.       I've only got 32 minutes left could you step on it?       ...and could you please clean my carpet while I'm gone? Right. They're all the same. Mostly. The dame was different. She didn't speak much. But she was... ...Makes me wonder what happened there.       Next right.       Yeah. ...Yeah I know. Still. There are other ways around this I guess. I could just... Yeah I could. But that would be too easy. ...Ya think? ...Doubtful. Not here anyway.       The same. No prob'm.       Nice guy. Six down. Two to go. I could do this with my eyes closed. They say that's irresponsible, by the way, but I could.       Yeah? Where to? SLC?       Surprise. ...Hmmmm... What's not to love about this?... ...Hit it.

On The Decline

For all you astronomers out there.... the sun has reached the apex of its influence this day. It is now on the downhill slope of its analemma. Stick it sun!

For those of you wondering what the mer this means?....

1. Night games can now be played at earlier times.

2. The angle that sunlight is inflicted upon you is now less severe and thus burning during the same duration of time is a lesser concern.

3. We don't have to be beaten this long by the sun for a whole year!

4. Water may not necessarily last you longer on the playing field, but you can drink happier knowing the sun is leaving sooner.

5. You can check out stars for a longer period of time.

6. If you have a garden, MLT's will soon no longer be T-less. (so perky)

7. Sunsets will be longer than before.

8. Nearing syzygy. Eclipse season is coming back in season.

9. Killer whale attacks on rabbit infested wetlands now hits an all time low.

10. Winter is at long last preparing to regain dominance over the seasons.

#247 - Life is Easier If You Drive to the Correct Green

#132

- If there were more birds in the sky than there are at this time... and I mean like a WHOLE lot more birds... then it is possible that two things might occur. They could keep us humans in our place. (See Henry Jones' and Charlemange) Hitting two birds with one stone would no longer be an amazing thing by any means.

#423

- Battery acid leaks can be in some cases be curbed by not putting both terminals in the mouth at the same time as gargling a mix of Aleve and Seven-Up.

#22

- Heated spoons can cause severe burns to the palette and cheeks.

#108

- A phobia of facial mutilation on any level due to the burning of the hair is not only unrealistic it is completely unwarranted.

#198
- Justification is the grease on the slide pole to hell. (CB's Law)

#87
- Hot wiring your video card could blow out your motherboard.

#88
- Hot wiring your video card (if you are a lucky schmuck) will only blow out your video card.

#629

- If Astronomy and Astrology were indeed the same thing then the overall material, temporal, compositional and proportional properties of this life would be shifted from apolune to perilune, greatest eastern elongation would suddenly become a thing to be reckoned with, and anti-particles from expended star crossed lovers would be the end of the rest of us.

#3

- When eating ginger snaps... always ingest large doses of milk. Milk is a victual lubricant.

#42

- Gasoline can become explosive under the right conditions.

#43

- The right conditions are far too many to list.

#44

- Pine trees burn far too easily.

#573

- Taxi drivers who don't speak your language and don't know where they are going can get you to where you want to go; Purely because they have been called as taxi drivers.

#357

- It's a distinct possibility that it is better to burn at the beach than to rot in the valley.

Better Ingedients...

I thought a while the other day
What I'd be like when I was gray
As gray's begun to set upon
This chap who dives out on the lawn

Would I be full of screws and plates
To keep my bones and joints in place?
Would I still have a kidney left?
Would I of organs be bereft?

Will my old lungs still fill with air
As I run past defenders there?
Will this dark stone still pump the blood
That fuels the fire beneath the hood?

And looking there so very near
I waited as the water cleared
Then to surprise I found myself
Appearing less like some old elf

For there instead as ripples died
Was an old man all vibrant eyed
Then from the side the water splashed
Which hopes of recognition dashed

But thinking now on sights I had
The man down there looked much like dad...
Views it brought to new the mind
Somehow before I was so blind

...If I'm like him I'll get to heaven
E'en if that comes at thirty seven

The Well Has Run Dry

A chancy ago I found a happy place. (and precious little makes me happy these days...) A blessing from on high really. Untamed, full bore, power train, quenchage-ing, reliant, compliant, but not restrained, however maintained, crazed and uncontrollable, though impossibly rabid... drinking. It cools the inner and the outer man. A beautiful thing really.

So bag yourself a carafe and go buck nutty.

Mercy is For the Weak

The thoughts have been turned to kubb this day. There is something so very violent about the game. When was the last time you or any of your neighbors sat down to ponder the inner reaches of said game. In saying game we note the docil-ination that has been coherced upon the subject which fully overcomes its inate and undeniable past. Think of the horror. You. Four fellow bay dwellers at your side standing waiting to be speared by an said twice lengthy of your oncey. But what are you fighting for? For land? Domination? A large woman? One thing is sure its not for the fool standing in the middle of the field calling himself king over both warring parties. Thus we save the cuss till last just to show that he is definitely part of the losing team.

Most in unsaid days believe it to be a part of every-man's-right... a social lubricant. Now I can understand where such a thought may arise in the land of said lubricants but if allowed to bake long enough in the sun there is another take that woths back to wisdom of yore.

-You'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword and we'll try and kill each other like civilized people?

-...As God intended. ...skill against skill alone.

...So really, for those who have wondered of what the drive is driven, it's not so different from elimination.

Camus? Are You There?...

Ok. So there does happen to be some truth to the rumors going around... and I will not say nor disclose to whom or to what they were correct but as to the validity of their conjectures?.. they conjected in the correct direction. Speaking of such things does bring to mind the great happens of years past-since and gone as to fore this day. Though I do and must so attest that I have never prior nay neither shall I hence object in completion to the auspices of the day. Many are quite distracting in a manner quite requisite for this time and season under the heavens. This does not, however, fully excuse you in your understanding and undermining of the projected outcomes; in essence... I think you dropped the proverbial ball. When, and if, in days future and of a certainty forthcoming you redirect your rights and responsibilities to the more noble and fearing , I pray that this may find you in direct correlation and juxtaposition.

Find peace my brother.
Francis Heed Jaxor

Thirty Nine Things I've Not Told Anyone

So last night while sitting a thought came to me
That I was in need of repenting you see
As I haven't been the best kid all around
Not sticking to laws or principles sound

For there once was a time when a weasel and me
Got into an orchard, far up in a tree
And on looking down this weasel said "kid
I dare you to fly from this limb to that lid"

"What lid?" I exclaimed all alooking around
When a last I did spot it way out on the ground
It lay past the brook and the high resined clatter
Upon which a coward would nay himself splatter

And up over the briars and past thistled wood
Was a mesh of barbwire where fences once stood
Then, at least in my mind, there rose up a flame
Which all the kings horses could never e're tame

And speaking of horses they grazed near the forge
Which when forging oft caused a stampede in the gorge
Ah the gorge I forgot, as it was a small danger
Its only hurdle to one not a stranger

(A stranger that is to cliffs miles high
That run miles long, least as the crow flies
And that too be filled with some kind of goo
That-in-seconds will eat through the soul of your shoe)

But crossing that hurdle the way's pretty fair
To the lid 'cept for maybe a spacial rift tear
Where space and its time seem to bend round and round
Then some how wind up with the sky in the ground

And if you by chance live a while to perceive it
The rift will of living all lifelines bereave it
"But that's not too worry" said the weasel that day
"You can't get that far, no not even half way."

He smiled with a sickly and sorrendous sneer
"You've all things to lose and more things to fear.
There's hell to the left and on to the right
So your best bet is just to climb down from this height

But I dare you, you wuss. I dare you to fly
I bet you can't do it cause you think that you'll die."
But wrong was the rodent.. I wasn't real scared
For I had my warp six sixty six field prepared

And I knew by the specs in the First User's Guide
That I'd be alright.... If I hadn'ta tried
To soup up my soup and get flashy lights
To make me look sweet in the midst of the kites

So long story short things went pretty bad
Though not till I'd gotten past Zeus and his dad
Which was quite the feat I will tell you my friend
But that's when my flight came right 'round the bend

And there though I knew that it couldn't be true
About thirty and five lids came into my view
And if I'd have thought long and deep in my soul
I'd've realized there was a huge massive black hole

Which I didn't expect, but I should have seen
That the lids were caused by an einsteinian ring
And so now flish flashy has caused my decease
So I'm trying to help my soul make it's piece

In my time when you get this I'll be truly dead
But don't let that sad thought get to your head
Cause though my time is short, yours is so long
You've forever to see just where I went wrong

And when you do if you have any time
Please pull me out of this rift in space time

PS: I'll be sitting here

The End of What Once Was

So once in a time back a ways ago, when one was a bit younger (as the past has that effect on one's person), and the body was still intact... he decided that intact wasn't much to his liking. And definitely not in nearing finals. Then came one. A friend. To release him...

Trebuchet? Not as cool as say... ram-rod or even the V-3, but we'll take it.