Proof of a Death March

I'm not sure if this is common knowledge but Provo was to be the last stand of the iniquitous at the last days. At least that's what the Provo Canyon Prophet told me. So a friend and myself decided to heed false prophecy and get us out. We were smitten and greatly afflicted as we lightly esteemed the call to leave early. The heat of the sun and the wickedness of the city beat upon us. This picture taken by our unsuspecting camera man shows in terrible clarity the extreme heat of the sun combining with that coming from the epicenter of unrighteousness. Alas as he turned to take the picture he was turned to a pillar of salt. (This picture was taken at 1/3000 s. shutter speed believe it or not)
As our journey continued without helicopter or camera crew we felt to look at Bear as rather a wuss. We decided to take the journey due south up and around ...considering the rocky terrain. ...Have you ever had that feeling? That feeling of walking and pushing and giving something your all only to almost collapse under the weight when of a sudden you are lifted up and weightlessness carries your limp and fatigued body to the top? ...cause it sure didn't happen here. In fact as I was in the act of such musings is was stricken down for my unheeding ways. It was however but a warning shot. Much to my rejoicing I was provided a bush to keep me from rolling off the mountain. I suppose most of you won't believe what a state we were in when the top finally came underneath our frames unless you know the size of our fire. A greater man would have been ashamed of it. But I probably would have pushed him down the mountain for admitting that too.
Certain that the end was still immanent... here we are bracing ourselves for impact of the sun upon the distant horizon. We figured the safest place to be in the event of a collision with the sun would be on top of a mountain. I mean it is solid rock after all.

Well.... nothing happened again so decided that the destruction must come by mist of darkness or the angel of death or something. I was sure I saw it just like Cecil had portrayed. There must be smog in CA I guess. Then we figured that maybe such things need to have the target painted by laser first. So we did our part. Again nothing. But a few comments by way of observation. As can be seen, not only can we pick out the Orem border by their Holier-Than-Thou-White street lights but we can also note that guided missile attacks from atop Y mountain can hit West Jordan. So we waited out the night. But you know what? The sun came again. Like It always tends to do this time of year. At about 6:28. Just in time to save me from losing a bet. The second I'd won that dygn. Right as the sun peaked its ugly head we jumped down the hillside before we were spotted. Luckily it couldn't keep a lock on us as we dismounted.

So it turns out our informant was off his rocker. Lessons learned? I'm not sure I can comment on that just at this time. I only wonder what the unsuspectings thought of the green stop signs.