Eight Days Out

It was on a day all quiet as night
That I thought I would take a fair walk off the site
The sun was all shining with blue birds in song
I hadn't a care, not a thing could be wrong

I passed the old gard'ner, my way out of bounds
'Stay out from the west, they's en-trapment grounds'
Of what called my self? Of goods, buys and wears?
'Of something like that, but more somethin' like bears'

Well, I'm not a bear nor its shape nor its like
I have ancestry from the first honest reich
I've got kinship galore, three hundred so dozen
And not one of those kin a distant bear cousin'

'All the same,' said the man, 'if you go let me say
It was nice to have known you on such a fine day'
'He's out of his gourd, I thought, making fun
He's too old and he's been too-long out in the sun

When in thought I was stopped by an young passer-by
My-friend, take care where you walk, -here is why
Stay off from the way, stay off from the path
It's tenaciously deadly, yourself do the math

This day, at 10:20 we lost Eddy Brock
He was sitting, just sitting, by the path on a rock'
'What ho? Did it jump up and bite the poor kid?'
'As bear traps do oft, yes this bear trap it did.

Five others were taken in stretchers from there
Last week as they're mauled in the traps of the bear
Then on into march were lost thirty six
As they cleared up the path of weather downed sticks'

'You're crazy my friend. But fine, I'll just go
And take my out to-wards the mead-ow'
Not too far adjunct from that "paved place O'death"
I met yet another, a jaunt from the heathe

'What on earth are you doing?' cried the woman in terror
'Turn out of this place, you must be in error
I've-been standing here for ninety two days
All sick with the croop where the deer come to graze

This place is not safe, especi'lly for saps
Not wary of bear-catching-deer catching traps'
'I don't seen an one' 'Oh come now you fool!
What good is an en-visaged bear-trapping tool?'

'Why don't you go home to a place warm and dry
If you stay, trapped or not, you'll probably die
Wait. I'll help you get out. I'll give you a lift.'
'And get us both killed! Please leave me adrift!

I know you can't see them all hid in the grass
But you cannot imagine the ones you now pass
Let me alone, get out of this way
Remember yourself and live out this day'

So alas, I will say, I left the poor dame
I don't even think that I asked her her name
I made a b-line for the heathe and the shrubs
Stepping large strides but looking like Bubs

Upon reaching the bush, then did-I hesitate
Some bum will pop up and warn me of my fate
There I waited,             and waited, there wasn't a noise
So I took took a step forward with new gathered poise

Then 'Pssst' came the sound from an underlain bush
'Don't take one more step or your leg will be mush
All mangled and gnarled inside of that steel
You'll be left to die, yes, a worm ridden meal'

That's a pleasant hello, I thought to myself
Especially come from an half naked elf
The guy must have lived in these bushes for years
He smells of grey cheese and de-corned cobben ears

So I took a step further, still on in the bush
When he tackled me down with a vio-lent push
'You will not believe the horrors I've seen'
He whispered, 'The bodies rot ripe with gangrene

'Get the duece off of me you crazened corned creep'
I yelled as I jumped-up and ran further deep
On into the brush with its yew and scrub oak
I had to escape from that fomenting bloke

Of a sudden I stopped in my tracks all afraid
What-if the next step was the last that I made?
I cannot escape what I cannot see
I've no metal detector or specter-al chi

And shivers began to crawl up my spine
When I realized myself standing next to a pine
And pine upon pine were next to pines on
I perceived that myself had from the bush gone

'Clever you are,' good sir you are right
But who said it I thought no one is in sight
'Up here' said this lad from a high lofted bow
'But where, in jive's name, will you to yourself now?'

'Well in honest to be I haven't a clue'
'The forest ain't safe' '...And that's something new?
I ought have stayed home with the cats and the sheep
And read a good book or had a nice sleep.'

'But you don't like sleep, and you don't read books
And you're here in the forest, 'least that's how it looks
Now you could stay here or you could go on
But go-back you can't do,' he said with a yawn

'So where do I go where the traps no more are?
Do I leave from the west to a place east and far?
How should-I guard myself from these death laden traps?
Should I eat lighter lunches, take shorter naps?'

'Good sir, you will find that none of that goes
Nor can-you rub a lamp or just follow your nose
The traps will get you, whether rusty or cute
Whilst eating at lunch or playing a flute

They're out on the cliffs and the sand washen dunes
Amidst the shipwrecks full of Spanish Doubloons
Upon the escarpment in hand-holden cracks
But rarely alone, they oft come in packs

When you are not ready, when you think you are
In the bright of the sun, in the dim of the star
Though a problem I've found, they're more oft in the dark
No night will be one as a walk in the park

Those too you will find are more littered than clean
Which itself is quite clever and itself, quite mean
But the dark like I said makes the jazz hard to see
Which is why cometh dusk, I'm up in this tree

You must learn to see them through bushes and bogs
Beneath tall grown grasses and masses of logs
But now it is dark and sleep comes my way
I hope you're still limbed at the coming of day'

And then with a snore he fell into dream
'Cool.'
I hope you wake up when I'm trapped and I scream.
Then with a loud sigh I let out a breath
Which now could be seen in the shiver of death

Myself it is time that you make up your mind
Do-you stay here through night or walk around blind?
And in doing so get yourself caught out there
In the jaws of the mouth of the trap of the bear

No.
No, I will go home for this day is mine
I'll not be awash by their false dakine
Their fears won't be mine nor what they suppose
I'll have my own fears and fight my own foes

So then with a grin I turned and I ran
Full speed and full tilt like some dude with a plan
Bear traps, I thought, now what could be stranger.
When I stopped. Don't know why. But just in-time for danger.

For then there I saw it, down out past the thatches
An rusty ol' iron with what up an bear catches