Last Call for Sin

So the time has come for me to really figure out what the mer I am going to be doing the rest of this summer. Yes, at about 5:00 pm it came. Oh fine, so I was about 20 minutes early this time. And that too even a little early this year. I've usually got till blessed midnight. Well it appears brother Brigham's got beef with indecision and wants to cut its window down to a minimum. And I can't fault him for that. Now alphabetizing by author? That my good sir is unforgivable. Just come watch any of your favorite deer in the headlights freshmen come fall. It'll be classic. hmm... I do like the little red around the box. Very patriotic. So we see here that there are no jazzy anythings being pursued during said season of suffocating swelter. True. Mr. Clemens and his band of humanitarians have got me in close proximity to where they want me. And a measly 6 hrs at that. Of what has the world come and why is it not ours yet? The real question is whatever shall I do with all this free time. Keep checking. Maybe I'll tell you.

Does Anyone Else Miss the Snow?

Simple Truth for a Day

I'm going to admit something to all of you right now. That's what we're supposed to do on these kind of sites. Like I just had three gallons of ice cream that I ate while sitting on the couch waiting for my ship to come in after the last one left. I did particularly like the last one but there are far to many ejection seats on your average freighter shall we say... Or maybe more like I just went to the Museum of North American Flowers and Foul and saw more moose than you can shake a stick at, and mother of pearl were they big suckers. Of course there is only one small problem being naturally that my life is not that kind of good Moses jazz. CCP over here is showing the greater workings of fandangled electonery, and me? All that I may say further is that I am sore. The ground doesn't care to help me out much these days.

Where's Jeribald?

Can you spot the poser?

365.2564 Days of K-Stone

That's right folks. The sidereal clock has run and still I haven't been shut down. So I would like to welcome you to a new year of the same old jazz. Maybe I'll throw in a rabbit or a barrel o' monkeys every now and then, but let's be honest... creativity has already hit apogee and it's all down hill from here on out. Ask your mom. Ask your weatherman. But for Moses don't ask Betty Crocker cause she's not tellin.

In fact there's no telling really... Erin and friends opened a can of worms and they are mult-i-plying.

Not evolving. Just multiplying. So grab a pillow and enjoy.

That Would be the Swedes

I was home you see and I had this thought... I need some new shoes. My old ones are veritable scoops for all sorts of things: from rocks and dirt to snow and mudpuddle slushies. In fact they are looking more and more so every day that I was thinking of taking them instead of chips to a party. Alas one draw back. They look like carnage, smell like death and are only slightly better on the teeth than chicken ligaments.

Now I'll not show a picture but lets just say that my second pair of -I've got rhythm on my feet and some yellow on my shoes- shoes have a horrendery more yellow on them.

Since when did yellow become an acceptable color?

No Regrets

You ever noticed your mother's uncanny knack to predict your ill-fated and yes inauspicious future? The classic 'if you do that again you're going to be maimed and bleeding for life' clause. Burdensome. But one thing that is really kind of sad are the ones she never got right, either because she didn't believe it enough or because we never crossed the actual threshold of 'if you do that long enough it's going to stick like that. Well sometimes I wish that it had... or that I had persevered.



So the lesson here is tenacity

...people will recognize your face a lot quicker.

That Green Shirt Again

Where're you now little brother? I was just asking myself this question when the answer came to my mind. Rather like a strike of old scottish cabbage on the rye. Nowhere Gates. Nowhere. So does that mean you sit and make slosh your soup as the run gets cold and the air grows thin? No. Not unless you've got a fair amount of stuffing in those pantaloons of yours. You see... the fine line gets crossed every day. And the real point is not to know which side of it you're on at the end of said period, but... ...well which side you'd rather be on tomaro. Kind of like tomato. Cause the only change that's inevitable is the kind that kicks you in the teeth every other month. On wednesdays. Just learn to lean into it. At the very least your face does have the slight chance of swelling into a smile. And just when you think that's enough...

...well friend? Grab yourself a peach and sit down and eat it. Just you, a peach, and your favorite patch of sky. It'll change everything.

Just Run Faster

So let's get one thing straight, there are five bears behind that tree that want to steal your sugar and you are asking me to go back there and take three of them? Take them where? And if perchancy I could of myself get them to go, what then? Do I just sit down for a cup of tea with the creatures and say 'Howdy' for an hour or so...

Two?! Are you out of your gourd?! Whose mother's child are you anyway?!

Lung...

Got it. But still lets think about this a little more. Saying I could do it, what's that gonna help you any? You do understand they've got guns right?

So you're thinking that you can grab the one and throw it at the other? ...I guess that could work... How much can you lift?

You're jiving right? Oh Aunt Jamima... I've got a better idea. Buy a new one and go home.

So pretend it's the same!

Are you forgetting the odds here?! You can't round them down in numbers you know. It doesn't work like that.

Where the mer did you get that?

Dang. So then we'll...


...pure genius. ...I guess we go then, easy cheese.

...On three?

Leroy Jenkins!

Fugitive

They're on to me. I wasn't careful and now they're on to me. I should have known... should have known! I'm not sure if I'm safe anymore. I'll have to keep running but they may show up at any time. Well intentioned? Yes. But I made a splash today and they realized that I'm not who I say. The papers never lie. My file wasn't there.

It started so well. I had finished three operations with surgical precision only to arrogantly let intel on the fourth slip. Someone got suspicious and things didn't line up. They told me another office would process my order. They were waiting for me when I got there. I had to make a quick escape. Now I'm running. A year and a half. That was it. I was so close. Now it's falling apart around me. I don't know how I'll get back in. I'll have to play it good. Very good...

I'll keep myself low for a while and then... ...I'll have to snipe the last few. Hopefully that will give me enough time...

Respite

Days come to a close sometimes and you thinks till your oncy where hither hath the clockened lady taken mine this ev'n? I do say fair damsel. Pray tell how to for and where to with thine cauchy is upon me now? Avast! And be gone. Done; and sorrow's barrel rolls alone. Beknighted not by friend nor foe, the horseman rides due north and catcheth not the calls that come of weather. Near yourself and hearken. The time is now at hand. Gather out of forest and of wooded lands. Call to the beggar. Buy not from he who would defame. Delay not, for herein is wisdom; the jester of the thirtieth is upon us, and he will unveil his own. Gather blackness and let out the light.

Twenty Six Hours

You've told yourself no n'er again
This time you will be better.
You'll keep resolve's impassioned clause
In spirit and in letter

But then through days of thoughtlessness
The days they turn to weeks
Which happens well when juxtaposed
By concourses of geeks

You think that time is on your side
As Jagger sings for hire
But I know now one thing in life...
...Jagger is a liar

The truth it seems more coincides
To Hootie and his fish
For time will take more blows from you
Than you could ever dish

And so it was this time again
That took me by surprise
Well 'took me' isn't quite the truth
I really wasn't wise

I said it. There. You happy now?
To me alone is blame.
I can't just get off 'cause I've got
Two majors to my name

So yes, in the last week it came
Right down to time and me
Which really in this life is the
Most biased fight you'll see

I could have finished in advance
If he'd just stop his motion
You can't take shots on such movement
Without a stop-time potion

But when I checked so frantically
And pocket's holds withdrew
I found to my great horror I
Was fresh out of this brew

'Alas I'll have to take him on
Like in our fathers' age
Man to man, all day and night
Attrition's war will rage'

And so from morning on to noon
And so-ly on to dusk
I fought the dragon in my face
(He didn't smell of musk

That would have made things nicer still
But war is never nice
It finds you without house and home
Ra-tioned on grains of rice)

But as the dusk turned into night
I prayed that eyes stay wide
To finish slaying cue by cue
In short to save my hideThe blackness that surrounded me
Soon turned its clock t'ward morn
But neither side had conquered yet
And mine was badly worn

Crazened looks came cross my mug
While peering in the dark
I'd started to begin to lose
Inginu-ations spark

'Don't let it end but end it now
And take me from this place'
As mornings tock came o'er the clock
A tick came to my face

Completion of this slaying was
Not coming right along
They say a slaying only comes
When Helga sings her song

And she showed up but still I was
Not equal to the task
'Three hours more to e'en the score?'
That's all I dared to ask

Granted and I pushed ahead
And fought till nearing noon
Just hoping that some miracle
Would come upon me soon

When then a thought came to my mind
I drew the dragon near
'You and I can both go home'
I whispered in his ear

'Just roar aloud a couple times
And pop me in the head
And then I'll stab you one last time
And you'll pretend you're dead'

Agreeing with an awful smile
He said 'your time will come,
Then I'll be back when you 'spect least
And I will serve you some.'

Afraid of being janked? I was.
But choices had no other
A draw for now was better than
A flag sent to my motherSo as I left the grounds that day
(Which'd lengthened out to two)
I knew the battle'd just begun
There was much more to do

But then I realized something grand
An entry for this date
My old record's 'Straight Hours at School'
I'd bested now by eight.

In The Service

Further proof you'll get what's coming to you.