Saturday, January 31, 2009

Sacred Space

One may ask many stupid questions. Two or three may ask uncountably more. There are in fact a great many inquisitive idiots. Your oncy may have heard questions like: Do you mind if I pour my water on this Francium? What do they speak in Sweden? Can I think when the fan is off? You mean to tell me that the sun is a star? Canada's a country? But worse, though slightly less known, is... Why were we given Saturday?

Look and behold my friends. Look and behold.



If you're not playing then you need to get your house in order. Sacrifice your body. And learn to jump for crying out loud!
Oh, and if you were wondering what hazards the occupational man... the ground can be hard, especially when it's a concrete sidewalk. Hidden under a patch of leaves. Sure you'd normally see that, but sometimes you just have to try harder.



We have a team photographer? Yes, we're that big... Turns out this random man came on the field and started taking pictures with a real fancy-shmancy camera. We guessed he could only have been either from Parks and Recreation Services or from the NSA. We still aren't really sure. We did decide, however, that we needed to kife his film. So kife we did. And we thank the Patriarch. Much.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Perspective

Quite a smashing batting average. Great survival odds from an asteroid impact. If taken in connection with light speed... then Mars?.. not so far away. Much better than 97% of second graders could have done. Even Carnot could have only dreamed of such efficiency. Definitely a good source of calcium. A democratic landslide. Can you say supersonic-cruising?! In astronomical terms... it might as well be 100. (or 0.... but that's beside the point) Wonder drug. Practically an A for an engineer.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Too Much Free Time


A problem occurs oft times when you happen to stick gingerbread in front of an engineer and say "Build." He may argue. He may try to dissuade you. Yet you, being the one you are, will inevitably not listen. So 16 hours later when he is still at the table in his attempt to obey and thus "Build," just remember, this is the nature of the beast. You brought this on yourself.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Déjà Vu? Please No.

So as the southwesterners, southeasterners, certain minnesotans and scores of other untold panzies morn the going of the sun to it's nether regions, it is duely noted how well the earth retains its overall temperature in these times. A closer look at a map of oceanic current temperatures gives insight as to why we are not as yet frozen over in blessed goodness. Signs of global warming you say? Well, fancy pants, those signs have been coming now for the last 13,000 years. Has this anything to do with procession, you then ask. Doubtful. However, there does seem to be certain correlation between the sun's Maunder cycle and the jive down here. You know what? I think I'm done.

But if you please, not this time. Nice, ...but enough. Still... on such a day nothing really can be wrong.

Pure unadulterated deliciousness.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

When It Can't All Be Done

There's this time of day when everything that usually stands of the bright side of things turns coat and runs for mayor of an adjoining town. An actual problem? Oh I supposen't. But even said thems bes the things that bring out of hilts and holsters. Which may I just mention, in case you were too busy to notice, both start with the letter H. Handy. ...and now I see.
...and now I'm empty.

To quote a friend is to do a service to the world. Listening is a form of intrusion, seclusion, delusion and, if not metered with more than the ear, confusion. The minister's cat is not a cat.

Bring the meat we pray thee good sir. Pray on. Fro cameth the whence and to so greaveth the shant. Come not to the table with unwashen arms in haste to make thy way great of fat and labored coin. Nay, wait upon the hour that brings. For bring it shall. Though brought's it not. And so has the day been. Retortion and subjugation. Undenial and forthwithal. Yellow, put off thine self and squaller not the peace or the freed.

I've waited for days for this to come. I think the time is here. No one is home. No one raises a hand. But there, stands the eye that never blinks or turns from his watch. The light is his. The shadow is his making. Though ever present, still the time he rounds to his own. Whether up or down, his might is made known.

Stay out of the river. Stay back from the bank.
Your feet will oft fail you n'er 'larming you've sank.
There in the great deep, though only to toes,
the Wind reacheth not as there not it blows.
Calm, cool and collected so still and reposed.
But far now away from where safety enclosed.
Off now for to wander and wonder of things
All drifting too far from the rivers and streams.
Untethered, unleashed, unguided, unfed.
Full up of no substance, pushed onward, not lead.
Without a foundation, an anchor or home,
pervaded by eddy's and currents and foam.
Distracted by motion and faux muffled peace,
Clear dilutes to murk where bearings all cease.
And once there a-ground in ground none can heft,
All joy disappears and nothing is left.
And there you'll remember where entered decay,
But you'd never admit till it came in full sway.
Sure, keep to your pride if you like or the bank,
but recall if you'd stayed you had never'a sank.

Sleep well. When you do sleep. If you are want to do so.
Do so.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Covert Ops.

So. You see that guy there behind the bush on the left? He's been there for an hour or so. Waiting. Strange no one else has seen him. Let's flank him.

No. No... That one. Yeah. Wait... Where'd he go?

...and we're dead.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Land's Ocean

Create me a burning. Not of tree, man or land. Not of the mind, willing ill. Not of derailment or disreguard. Not of desire, seeking only own. Of purity. Of clarity. Of devotion. Of please. Let my sought have been never vain. Vainity bringing conformity. Let my soul be swift, exceeding my clay. Doing yet burning, more.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Tests on the Structural Integrity of Gourd Squash

Li'l James - Crack Propagation Test*
(22 longitudinally introduced fractures; test run 10/05)
Revealed only days before the little friend's come-up-ins.

Mirv - Compressive Shear/Abrasion Resistance Test*
(thinned shell by grinding, applied non-structural stress , large hemispherical shear dislocation; test run 10/06)
If sideburns really made life this interesting...

Fleming - Creep/Corrosion Test*
(full basal removal, minimal removal of bio-corrosive defects; test run 10/07)
Failing can do a many things to the mind. In many ways.

Jeberakiah - Impact Fracture Test*
(frontal high impulse stresses introduced by impact hammer; test run 10/07)
When your best leaves you nothing but tired and well... tired.

Edmond - Corrosion Resistance/Structural Stress/Thermal Fatigue Test*
( introduction of point dislocations, a prominent lateral fracture, bio-corrosive elements, thermal stresses; test run 10/08)
Every once in a while things still don't go like you asked them to.


*all specimens were first hardness tested

Friday, November 14, 2008

Peace? ...You and I Aren't Ready For That.

You really want to know what's on my mind at this time? Think no more of a happening than that it continues on but never seems to come out to what ought to be said.
Ok lets try this again


Tired and tried.
Hot and dyed.
I went to push the door again
To bring it closed as it was then
Joints. Bolts.
Electron volts.
But waiting at the bottom of the stack
Just waiting to be popped.
Cranberry sauce.
Bottled up moss.
The unvented and the uneventful.
Inevitably pursues the days.
Pattered and pumped.
Summarily lumped.
Please give me keys and strings
To pull aloft the unwritten.
Guy wires holding.
Plots unfolding.
Oh the day when all was new
Still bright unsullied in the view.
Carts of planks.
Many thanks.
You out there in the green
Look and throw back just to see.
Boars with birds.
Flower of nerds.
Wait the day out, long it drives
Exacting, vengeance in its eyes.
Leafy rain.
Lumbar pain.
Hearts, stars, horseshoes, clover and blue moons
Pots of gold, and rainbows, and the red balloons.
He's coming.
Get running.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

You're Not the Devil... You're Practice

Take a good look. It may be your last. I make this the time. Make might your own. It inspires. Cement shoes. Small rocks. A bag of peanuts. Really huge potatoes. A ruck. Some muck. And a swath of red. Even breathing isn't necessity. Jacks of beans. Gladly I'll stare your tree down. ΔE? Oh look at the time. Really.
Iron Man.

Monday, November 10, 2008

What the Weeds?

The wonder is that no one has realized that the clouds are out but the sun has been shining the whole time. I think it lends itself to show that when we go forward with our eyes on the goal we often miss that the goal is not all that is around. Take bowling for example. Sure you can get a strike every time. But what about the lights? Or the crazy disco music? Or the the nappy shoes to say nothing of the seats that only swing the wrong way. Ok... so you get the goal. But do you miss the point? Are you losing in getting what you wanted? Or are you just putting off the fact that the more you distract yourself the better you feel? So a couple of days ago I was biking around town when my tire blew out. That was cool. Have you ever had that happen to you? ...No; have you ever dreamed that that might happen to you? And as you are answering no, I ask yourself why that might be? Don't tell me it's convenience or time or pride or fortitude. I don't believe it. It goes back to that dang sun behind those smashing clouds. Diffuse lighting my friends. Diffuse lighting.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Elimination

You ever done something stupid? You ever wondered if you could do it again? You ever thought that maybe there's room in your head for one more? You ever been reminded that some lines shouldn't be crossed? You ever wondered where a line was? You ever watched as something quite quantifiable became something subjective? You ever wondered why mortality is inevitable in all things? You ever reasoned with yourself that if again you sat down a second the next mightn't come? You ever retaliated to kindness? You ever abandoned the wanton? You ever brought in the fish? You ever noticed a cat and found that it was on the other side of the road? You ever hunkered down when the sun came? You ever made a snowman in shorts? You ever burned down more than a house? You ever seen it coming? You ever then actually dodged it? You ever just taken it? ...Lights out eh?

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The Realm of Possibilities

And now is time that has been set apart from before the foundations to come forward and tell everyone something they didn't know. Could it be that I have one hundred dollars in my pocket in denominations of fives, twenties, ones and a two? Maybe you'll think that its that I happen to be the second northeasterner to ever swallow a half baked banana while smoking a fish. The list could continue you know. It happens to be what I'm doing on Friday night. The possibilities are almost endless. Almost. There are a few things I wouldn't be doing on Friday. Fishing for beavers? Not likely. But the fact happens to be that I happen to be studying that night. That's it? Yep. So you might have guessed it, but just ask yourself... did you really know that?