365.2564 Days of K-Stone

That's right folks. The sidereal clock has run and still I haven't been shut down. So I would like to welcome you to a new year of the same old jazz. Maybe I'll throw in a rabbit or a barrel o' monkeys every now and then, but let's be honest... creativity has already hit apogee and it's all down hill from here on out. Ask your mom. Ask your weatherman. But for Moses don't ask Betty Crocker cause she's not tellin.

In fact there's no telling really... Erin and friends opened a can of worms and they are mult-i-plying.

Not evolving. Just multiplying. So grab a pillow and enjoy.

That Would be the Swedes

I was home you see and I had this thought... I need some new shoes. My old ones are veritable scoops for all sorts of things: from rocks and dirt to snow and mudpuddle slushies. In fact they are looking more and more so every day that I was thinking of taking them instead of chips to a party. Alas one draw back. They look like carnage, smell like death and are only slightly better on the teeth than chicken ligaments.

Now I'll not show a picture but lets just say that my second pair of -I've got rhythm on my feet and some yellow on my shoes- shoes have a horrendery more yellow on them.

Since when did yellow become an acceptable color?

No Regrets

You ever noticed your mother's uncanny knack to predict your ill-fated and yes inauspicious future? The classic 'if you do that again you're going to be maimed and bleeding for life' clause. Burdensome. But one thing that is really kind of sad are the ones she never got right, either because she didn't believe it enough or because we never crossed the actual threshold of 'if you do that long enough it's going to stick like that. Well sometimes I wish that it had... or that I had persevered.



So the lesson here is tenacity

...people will recognize your face a lot quicker.

That Green Shirt Again

Where're you now little brother? I was just asking myself this question when the answer came to my mind. Rather like a strike of old scottish cabbage on the rye. Nowhere Gates. Nowhere. So does that mean you sit and make slosh your soup as the run gets cold and the air grows thin? No. Not unless you've got a fair amount of stuffing in those pantaloons of yours. You see... the fine line gets crossed every day. And the real point is not to know which side of it you're on at the end of said period, but... ...well which side you'd rather be on tomaro. Kind of like tomato. Cause the only change that's inevitable is the kind that kicks you in the teeth every other month. On wednesdays. Just learn to lean into it. At the very least your face does have the slight chance of swelling into a smile. And just when you think that's enough...

...well friend? Grab yourself a peach and sit down and eat it. Just you, a peach, and your favorite patch of sky. It'll change everything.

Just Run Faster

So let's get one thing straight, there are five bears behind that tree that want to steal your sugar and you are asking me to go back there and take three of them? Take them where? And if perchancy I could of myself get them to go, what then? Do I just sit down for a cup of tea with the creatures and say 'Howdy' for an hour or so...

Two?! Are you out of your gourd?! Whose mother's child are you anyway?!

Lung...

Got it. But still lets think about this a little more. Saying I could do it, what's that gonna help you any? You do understand they've got guns right?

So you're thinking that you can grab the one and throw it at the other? ...I guess that could work... How much can you lift?

You're jiving right? Oh Aunt Jamima... I've got a better idea. Buy a new one and go home.

So pretend it's the same!

Are you forgetting the odds here?! You can't round them down in numbers you know. It doesn't work like that.

Where the mer did you get that?

Dang. So then we'll...


...pure genius. ...I guess we go then, easy cheese.

...On three?

Leroy Jenkins!

Fugitive

They're on to me. I wasn't careful and now they're on to me. I should have known... should have known! I'm not sure if I'm safe anymore. I'll have to keep running but they may show up at any time. Well intentioned? Yes. But I made a splash today and they realized that I'm not who I say. The papers never lie. My file wasn't there.

It started so well. I had finished three operations with surgical precision only to arrogantly let intel on the fourth slip. Someone got suspicious and things didn't line up. They told me another office would process my order. They were waiting for me when I got there. I had to make a quick escape. Now I'm running. A year and a half. That was it. I was so close. Now it's falling apart around me. I don't know how I'll get back in. I'll have to play it good. Very good...

I'll keep myself low for a while and then... ...I'll have to snipe the last few. Hopefully that will give me enough time...

Respite

Days come to a close sometimes and you thinks till your oncy where hither hath the clockened lady taken mine this ev'n? I do say fair damsel. Pray tell how to for and where to with thine cauchy is upon me now? Avast! And be gone. Done; and sorrow's barrel rolls alone. Beknighted not by friend nor foe, the horseman rides due north and catcheth not the calls that come of weather. Near yourself and hearken. The time is now at hand. Gather out of forest and of wooded lands. Call to the beggar. Buy not from he who would defame. Delay not, for herein is wisdom; the jester of the thirtieth is upon us, and he will unveil his own. Gather blackness and let out the light.

Twenty Six Hours

You've told yourself no n'er again
This time you will be better.
You'll keep resolve's impassioned clause
In spirit and in letter

But then through days of thoughtlessness
The days they turn to weeks
Which happens well when juxtaposed
By concourses of geeks

You think that time is on your side
As Jagger sings for hire
But I know now one thing in life...
...Jagger is a liar

The truth it seems more coincides
To Hootie and his fish
For time will take more blows from you
Than you could ever dish

And so it was this time again
That took me by surprise
Well 'took me' isn't quite the truth
I really wasn't wise

I said it. There. You happy now?
To me alone is blame.
I can't just get off 'cause I've got
Two majors to my name

So yes, in the last week it came
Right down to time and me
Which really in this life is the
Most biased fight you'll see

I could have finished in advance
If he'd just stop his motion
You can't take shots on such movement
Without a stop-time potion

But when I checked so frantically
And pocket's holds withdrew
I found to my great horror I
Was fresh out of this brew

'Alas I'll have to take him on
Like in our fathers' age
Man to man, all day and night
Attrition's war will rage'

And so from morning on to noon
And so-ly on to dusk
I fought the dragon in my face
(He didn't smell of musk

That would have made things nicer still
But war is never nice
It finds you without house and home
Ra-tioned on grains of rice)

But as the dusk turned into night
I prayed that eyes stay wide
To finish slaying cue by cue
In short to save my hideThe blackness that surrounded me
Soon turned its clock t'ward morn
But neither side had conquered yet
And mine was badly worn

Crazened looks came cross my mug
While peering in the dark
I'd started to begin to lose
Inginu-ations spark

'Don't let it end but end it now
And take me from this place'
As mornings tock came o'er the clock
A tick came to my face

Completion of this slaying was
Not coming right along
They say a slaying only comes
When Helga sings her song

And she showed up but still I was
Not equal to the task
'Three hours more to e'en the score?'
That's all I dared to ask

Granted and I pushed ahead
And fought till nearing noon
Just hoping that some miracle
Would come upon me soon

When then a thought came to my mind
I drew the dragon near
'You and I can both go home'
I whispered in his ear

'Just roar aloud a couple times
And pop me in the head
And then I'll stab you one last time
And you'll pretend you're dead'

Agreeing with an awful smile
He said 'your time will come,
Then I'll be back when you 'spect least
And I will serve you some.'

Afraid of being janked? I was.
But choices had no other
A draw for now was better than
A flag sent to my motherSo as I left the grounds that day
(Which'd lengthened out to two)
I knew the battle'd just begun
There was much more to do

But then I realized something grand
An entry for this date
My old record's 'Straight Hours at School'
I'd bested now by eight.

In The Service

Further proof you'll get what's coming to you.

More Useful Knowledge

Did you know that small children fit well inside trash cans? In fact they practically beg themselves in. Makes for a nice transportation device. They come out smallish for a reason, right?









...strange that our species has ever survived this long.

Let 'em Have it Boys!

I'll let you in on a little bounce of secretism. This man looks like he could use a punch in the lunch. But I could really use about an half pound of cheese right now. I would smother all sorts of jive in it. No smoke. No frizz. Just cheese. What you can't do with the stuff? I don't really know. But it's not what you know of not but what you know of that gets you around from town to town. So really... while you're there just remember and bring me back some if you would be so kind.

Teleske's Hill

Sometimes I walk out on my newly shaped walk and just long for some movement off to the right as I bring out the quickly fading remnants of my homework to through over the edge, an edge that isn't there anymore. Sometimes I want to feel the place shake, just knowing that maybe some cop just ran into the place. Sometimes the air is thick as pea soup and you can't really walk through it but just slowly osmose. Sometimes it smells like lucky. Sometimes like green death. Sometimes all I want is a pizza in the park in the dark. Sometimes I can't help but think that everyone needs to take a break from it every once in a while. Sometimes I just want to come home to see that someone else has. Sometimes everything you wanted played can be, at the right time, even if that time is by necessity wrong. Sometimes thievery can be better described as strategic rearranging. Sometimes you don't even have to ask and you get free crazy bread. Sometimes brown can be so brown.

Sometimes gray enhances colors more than white could wish to. Sometimes you're lucky enough to find it butt freezing cold outside. Sometimes water flows. Sometimes it ebbs. Sometimes a label is all you need to turn a man into a rock. Sometimes flour and fog might as well be the same thing. Sometimes Nam was more fun than you could wish to have. Sometimes bales just move on their own. Sometimes a late night building something rarely used is more than you could ask for. Sometimes rope comes in 50 foot sections. Sometimes blacker is better. Sometimes you have to bail. Sometimes there's no way to go but black. Sometimes if you have a cow, you might as well ride it. Sometimes the plane is yours. Sometimes what you really do want is what you really do get. Sometimes the puzzle is only 9 pieces of fiberboard. Sometimes magnets are magic. Sometimes small spaces can be so big. Sometimes all you need is a lighter and an axe. Sometimes there couldn't be more stars if you asked for them. Sometimes three's company. Sometimes pool is all you need. Sometimes Mr. Tercel lives. Sometimes your feet can't take you far enough. Sometimes if you had anymore time on your hands you'd be an architect. Sometimes spacing makes things more palatable. Sometimes there really is a storm brewing.

Sometimes if you survive you can go sledding tomorrow. Sometimes it takes five hours for the sun to set. Sometimes you get a smile. Sometimes people know the inside from the out. Sometimes you can please everyone. Sometimes it's just you and a rock and the moon. Sometimes the grass is there. Sometimes lightning is dry. Sometimes you run out of time. Every now and then you just know again.

Blood Ball

These times I and the posse wonder, often aloud, if there is any hope for right. Hope for righteousness. Could we really never recreate a broken man? I for one believe we can. Better. Faster. Stronger.
Unbreakable. But when? Is the future dark on into the night and the day only for no later glimpse? Hold that thought. Just for a moment. ...Now let it go.

Will righteousness return? You can bet all your marbles on that. Either way, if something isn't done soon, you're gonna lose them in the end.